HomecolumnKnee Jerk's NFL Monday Presser - September 28th

Knee Jerk’s NFL Monday Presser – September 28th

Transcript of Monday’s press conference, including questions on Cam Newton, Tyler Eifert, and more…

A week prior, a discussion surrounded Cam Newton’s actions during a game.

NFL referee Ed Hochuli did not appear impressed and allegedly told Newton he was ineligible for a roughing the passer call the following Sunday.

Subsequently, the league has acknowledged Hochuli’s denial of such a statement. The question that arises pertains to the perception of NFL officials having disparate sets of rules for distinct players.

Regarding this matter, the response from the individuals involved was as follows:

Will Panos:  All he knows is that Ed Hochuli is an employee of the NFL, an organization synonymous with integrity and truthfulness.

In his view, there is no inclination to accept the word of a football player over that of an NFL official.

He firmly maintains that if one works for the NFL, their word carries more weight than almost any other, with a level of credibility surpassing the Pope’s.

Will firmly upholds that the league operates on a foundation of honesty and trust, and individuals in the league office adhere to the highest standards of integrity.

In essence, he suggests that dishonesty is foreign to the league, referencing the Wells Report as a testament to their commitment to the truth.

Will also humorously highlights the notion that when it comes to maintaining integrity, Commissioner Roger Goodell relies on Ed Hochuli as a dependable source.

Charlotte Peeper: Charlotte dismisses Cam Newton’s statement as untruthful. She asserts that no NFL official would make the comments that Cam attributes to Ed Hochuli and cautions against being too easily swayed by such claims, suggesting that the next question should be pursued.

In this retelling, the conversation maintains its original essence while adhering to the third-person point of view and rephrasing the passages as requested without adding any additional information.

USATSI, Panthers QB Cam Newton chats with NFL referee Ed Hochuli

Gary Smithberg, a writer for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, shared favorable news about the Pittsburgh Steelers regarding Ben Roethlisberger’s left knee injury.

It was revealed that Roethlisberger’s ACL was not torn, and the question that arose was whether the Steelers could continue winning with Michael Vick as the quarterback until Roethlisberger’s return.

In response, “Knee Jerk,” the commentator, expressed skepticism and playfully advised Gary to let Charlie Batch handle the situation before suggesting any blockbuster trade with the Jets.

Gary attempted to clarify that Michael Vick had been part of the Steelers’ roster since August 26th and had served as the backup QB for the past month.

However, “Knee Jerk” continued to maintain a humorous and incredulous tone, asserting that it was implausible that the Steelers had acquired a player as dynamic as Michael Vick without anyone noticing.

The conversation then turned to the Steelers’ recent victory, in which Vick had played a part. Gary noted that Vick had helped secure a 12-6 win, but “Knee Jerk” challenged this notion, insisting that with Vick as the quarterback, the Steelers should have scored at least 50 points.

Despite his initial skepticism, “Knee Jerk” ultimately suggested that the Steelers should try to acquire Vick from the New York Jets, even if it required a first-round draft pick, as he believed Vick could elevate the Steelers’ offensive performance significantly.

The conversation was skillfully rephrased in the third person, preserving the original dialog’s content and intent while adhering to the requested style.

USATSI, Steelers QB Michael Vick

Bob Town, a reporter for the Boston Probe, raised the question of the New England Patriots potentially going undefeated after their impressive victory against the Jacksonville Jaguars.

In response, “Knee Jerk” shared his optimistic view on the Patriots’ prospects. He expressed strong confidence that the Patriots would continue winning and humorously pondered the team’s state in 2075, speculating about Tom Brady’s fate.

“Knee Jerk” emphasized the reputation of the New England Patriots for consistently excelling, especially during the pumpkin beer season.

He mused about Bill Belichick searching the world for a team that could provide a genuine challenge, suggesting the possibility of Siberia having some formidable competition.

Playfully, he stated that even if extraterrestrial moonmen formed a team, they would still be substantial underdogs against the Patriots.

Summarily, “Knee Jerk” conveyed a resounding belief in the Patriots going undefeated and playfully acknowledged the question posed by Bob Town.

The passage has been rephrased in the third person while maintaining the original content and tone, as requested.

USATSI, Tom Brady eats turkey

Jane Daugherty, a correspondent for the Cincinnati Inquisitor, addressed the NFL’s ruling on a contentious Tyler Eifert play from the previous day.

While the NFL ruled that it was not a touchdown, many others held a differing perspective. She sought suggestions on how to enhance the clarity of NFL rules.

In response to this inquiry, “Knee Jerk” conveyed his confusion regarding the situation and expressed his belief that it appeared to be a touchdown.

He humorously proposed a solution to the issue by suggesting the creation of a new rule, one that could update the existing Dez Bryant rule, which itself was an update of a prior administration.

“Knee Jerk” playfully emphasized that the NFL excels in producing rules, likening them to a “Willy Wonka rules factory.” He quipped that even the state of being confused on Mondays had its own designated authority.

He also playfully mentioned his hypothetical consulting role with the NFL regarding rules, humorously positioning himself as an essential figure in the rule-making process.

Conclusively, he underscored the idea that more rules equated to a better system.

The passage has been rephrased in the third person, maintaining the original content and tone as requested.

Somehow, it’s not a touchdown…

Darren Freebird, a representative from Arizona Public, discussed the impressive performance of the New England Patriots in the AFC and the Arizona Cardinals’ dominance in the NFC.

He inquired whether there was any team in the NFC capable of challenging the Cardinals.

In response to this question, “Knee Jerk” acknowledged the Cardinals’ impressive showing and noted their familiarity with playing games in locations where Super Bowls occur.

However, he humorously alluded to the absence of a specific player, Neil Lomax, who used to be associated with the team.

When prompted for clarification by Darren, “Knee Jerk” maintained his enigmatic response and concluded the conversation.

The passage has been rephrased in the third person while preserving the original content and tone as promised.

Neil Lomax, former Cardinals QB
A dedicated individual currently in fourth year of pursuing a BBA degree. Love to spend my free time painting, drawing, and reading books.


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